- RELIGION. “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
- TIME TRAVEL. “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
- LOGIC. “Because I said so, that’s why.”
- MORE LOGIC. “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”
- IRONY. “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
- THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS. “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
- CONTORTIONISM. “Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
- STAMINA. “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
- WEATHER. “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
- HYPOCRISY. “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
- THE CIRCLE OF LIFE. “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”
- BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. “Stop acting like your father!”
- ANTICIPATION. “Just wait until we get home.”
- ESP. “Put your sweater on. Don’t you think I know when you are cold?”
- HUMOR. “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
- GENETICS. “You’re just like your father.”
- MY ROOTS. “Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
- JUSTICE. “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.”