Irish humor

The annual toast contest was in full swing at the neighborhood pub when John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!” His spontaneous wit won him the top prize and free ale at the pub for the best toast of the night.

When he arrived home a wee bit tipsy he told his wife that he had won the prize for the best toast of the night. She said, “Aye, did ye now? And what was your toast?”

O’Reilly proudly recited his toast to his bride. He says, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.”

“Oh me love, that is very nice indeed,” said Mary.

The next day, Mary ran into one of O’Reilly’s drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “O’Reilly won the prize last night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”

Mary, demure as a newly wed bride on honeymoon, replied, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to yank him by the ears to make him come.”