Random thoughts

The good news is the economy is creating millions of new jobs every year. The bad news is they’re all telemarketers.

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye opener.

When asked about relations with Rwanda, President Clinton said: “She’s lying. I never laid a hand on her.”

We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t manufacture a pair of men’s socks that stay up.

To ensure economic prosperity, ancient civilization would sacrifice a virgin by throwing her in a volcano. Nowadays, the job qualifications are less stringent, and she merely has to work as a White House intern.

Nostalgia makes me long for the good old days.

Can a storm be officially designated as a tornado without touching down at a trailer park?

Every time we see Ken Starr on TV he is walking outside some place. Doesn’t he have a real office?