Selective hearing

Barack and Michelle Obama are in the front row at a Yankees game. The row behind them is taken up with secret service agents. One of them leans over and whispers in the Resident’s ear.

Mr. Obama pauses, then grabs Michelle by the scruff of the neck and heaves her over the railing. She falls 10 feet to the top of the dug out, kicking and screaming obscenities.

The Resident shakes hands of those near him and gets “high fives.”

The secret service agent leans over again and whispers, “Mr. Resident, I said, they want you to throw out the first PITCH …”