Computer terminology

486 — The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

State-of-the-art — Any computer you can’t afford.

Obsolete — Any computer you own.

Microsecond — The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

G3 — Apple’s new Macs that makes you say “Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago.”

Syntax Error — Walking into a computer store and saying, “Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.”

Hard Drive — The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error.

GUI (“gooey”) — What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.

Keyboard — The standard way to generate computer errors.

Mouse — An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Floppy — The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

Portable Computer — A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.