Quotidian haiku

Hey! Get back indoors.
Whatever you were doing
Could put an eye out.

A lovely nose ring —
excuse me while I put my
head in the oven.

Hidden connection —
starvation in Africa,
food left on my plate.

How soft the petals
of the floral arrangement
I have just stolen.

My nature journal —
today, I saw some trees and birds.
I should know the names?

Add cholesterol
then overcook and serve with bread:
recipe revealed.

Like a bonsai tree,
your terrible posture at
my dinner table.

Coroner’s report —
“The deceased, wearing no hat,
caught his death of cold.”

Lonely mantra of
the Buddhist monk: “They never
call, they never write.”

The sparkling blue sea
beckons me to wait one hour
after my sandwich.

Concert of car horns
as we debate the question
of when to change lanes.

Is one Nobel Prize
too much to ask from a child
after all I’ve done?

Sorry I’m not home
to take your call. At the tone
please state your bad news.