Toddler property laws

  1. If I like it, it’s mine.
  2. If it’s in my hands, it’s mine.
  3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
  4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
  5. If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
  6. If I’m doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
  7. If it looks just like mine, it’s mine.
  8. If I think it’s mine, it’s mine.

(This goes out to Malcolm Smith and the Democrat Party in the New York state senate.)