The epitome of discretion

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in Monaghan’s flat in Dungarvan when Sean O’Toole loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up. Michael Lennon looks around and asks, “Oh, me boys, someone’s got to tell Sean’s wife. Who will it be?”

They draw straws.

Cavan Colquhoun picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet and gentle and not to make a bad situation any worse.

“Discreet? I’m the most discreet Irishman you’ll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me,” announces Cavan.

He goes over to O’Toole’s house and knocks on the door.

Brenda O’Toole answers and asks what he wants. Cavan declares, “Your husband just lost $500 and is afraid to come home.”

“Tell him to drop dead!” snarls Brenda.

“That I’ll do,” says Cavan.