You know you’re from California if …

  1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none is visible.
  2. You make more than $300,000 a year and still can’t afford a house.
  3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
  4. Your child’s 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
  5. You can’t remember … is pot illegal?
  6. You’ve been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
  7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
  8. You can’t remember … is pot illegal?
  9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
  10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
  11. The guy at 8:30 A.M. at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
  12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
  13. You can’t remember … is pot illegal?
  14. It’s barely sprinkling rain and there’s a report on every news station: ‘STORM WATCH.’
  15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.
  16. It’s barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
  17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
  18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers, and cosmetic surgeons.
  19. The Terminator is your governor.
  20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver’s license. If you’re here illegally, they give you one.