Let him pass

An elderly man is stopped by the police just after 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

The man replies, “I am on my way to attend a lecture on the ill effects that gambling, hookers, alcohol abuse, smoking, and staying out late have on the human body.”

The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving a lecture like that at this time of night?”

The man replies, “My wife.”