10 pet peeves dogs have about humans

  • Blaming your farts on me. Not funny … not funny at all !!!
  • Yelling at me for barking. I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG!!
  • Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
  • Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!
  • Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you’re not home.
  • The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo hoooooooo! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
  • Taking me to the vet for “the big snip,” then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
  • Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
  • Dog sweaters. Hello??? Haven’t you noticed the fur?
  • How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You’re just jealous.