My neighbors aren’t real happy about this, but I’m saving a bundle …

I’ve disconnected my home alarm system and de-registered from Neighborhood Watch.

Instead, I’ve got two Pakistani flags raised in the front yard — one at each corner — and 10-foot-square black ISIS flag on the roof

The local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service, and other agencies are each watching the house 24/7.

I’ve never felt safer and I’m saving $149.95 a month.