Five jokes for today

Hear about poor art thieves who bungled their getaway? They had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

Did you hear about the man who lived in a tire? He got a puncture, so now lives in a flat.

Just seen a sign outside home supply store: “Stainless Steel Sinks.” Bit obvious, I thought.

Wife: “Did you know butterflies only live for one day?”
Me: “That’s a myth.”
Wife: “No, it’s definitely a butterfly.”

Someone just threw a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me. I’m not hurt, just some super fish oil injuries.