Seven jokes for today

Just seen a very confusing book: “Ventriloquism for Dummies.”

Dave drowned, so for his funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. It’s what he would have wanted.

A man has been found guilty of stealing periods. The judge says he’s facing a long sentence.

Two larger ladies spotted at the bar. “You girls from Scotland?”
“Wales, you idiot!”
“Oh sorry: You whales from Scotland?”

Police say it was perfectly in order to scatter Uncle Eric’s remains in Hyde Park, but we should have cremated him first.

Was very surprised to see local funeral director offering clear glass coffins. will it be popular? Remains to be seen.

At the bank the other day, a little old lady asked me to help her check her balance, so I pushed her over.