GOP ponders buying Trump a new vacation home

Reliable sources have confirmed that GOP leaders will be offering to buy former president Donald Trump a new vacation home in the location of his choice in exchange for quietly fading from the political scene.

GOP leaders felt they were forced to take this drastic action after learning that Trump plans to address the Conservative Political Action Conference, or CPAC, in Florida next week, about the future of the Republican party and the conservative movement.

One participant in the high-level meeting who asked not to be identified told reporters, “Hey, the Dems did the same thing with Bernie Sanders, and it worked great.” Adding, “if Trump takes our offer, it will allow us to run the party into the ground as we see fit.”