- Don’t imagine you can change a man unless he’s in diapers.
- What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
- If they put a man on the moon — they should be able to put them all up there.
- Never let your man’s mind wander — it’s too little to be out alone.
- Go for younger men. You might as well, they never mature anyway.
- Men are all the same — they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
- Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
- Women don’t make fools of men — most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
- Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
- Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
- If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
- If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him checkbooks.
- Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
- Sadly, all men are created equal.
A lonely female crab was walking down the beach one evening when she noticed a male crab coming toward her — but he was walking straight and not sideways.
Continue reading “Walkin’ the walk”
A police officer pulls over this guy who’s been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy’s window and says, “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube.”
Continue reading “An answer for everything”
If you cross the North Korean border illegally you get 12 years hard labor.
Continue reading “Guide to border crossing”
God had been missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him on the seventh day, resting.
Continue reading “Balance”