In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, it’s Africa.

I’ve heard that Apple has scrapped its plans for the new children’s iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.

There’s a new Muslim clothing shop opened in Toronto but I’ve been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets.

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.

A friend of mine told me he’s dating his girlfriend and her twin. I said “How can you tell them apart?” He said, “Her brother’s got a moustache.”

Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on Facebook. I said, “I can’t wait for the new 911 to arrive!” Next thing I know, 4,000 Muslims have added me as a friend!

When a modest friend of mine checked into his hotel on a recent trip, he said to the lady at the registration desk, “I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled.” To which she replied, “No, it’s regular porn, you sick-o.”

The Red Cross just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistane I said we would love to, but our hose only reaches the edge of the street.