• Everyone loves Star Trek

    The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a U.S. Marine General.

    They shook hands.

  • Pope-mobile?

    After getting all of Pope Benedict’s luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn’t travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

  • Need$ for DNA test

    “Need$ for DNA test”

  • Italians — it’s in their blood

    Italians

  • Internet cleaning time again

    We’ve had an important notice, that simply had to be passed on; for those who’ve seen it before, revel in your old-sk00l style: It’s that time again!

  • New emblem

    The White House announced today that it is changing the presidential seal to that of a condom because this image more clearly reflects the Obama administration’s positions. A condom accepts inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you’re actually getting screwed.

  • Time breakdown of modern web design

    Time breakdown of modern web design

  • Travels

    I have been in many places, but I have never been in Cahoots. Apparently you can’t go there alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

    I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

  • Doctor’s office

    There’s nothing worse than a doctor’s receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it:

    A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.

  • Women who know their place

    Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict.

  • Scam Alert

    Just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled “My Favorite 18 Holes.” Turns out it’s about golf.

    Absolute waste of money.

  • The start of a Christmas tradition

    One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip … but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

  • A surprising child custody decision

    Dallas, TX (AP) – A seven year old boy was at the center of a Dallas County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree reasonably possible.

    The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.

  • Why I’m Depressed

    Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, “Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land.”

  • Better than a Flu Shot!

    Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

  • Unconventional wisdom

    I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

    Do not argue with an idiot: He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

  • Your house …

    … as seen by you.

  • Wit and wisdom of Bob Hope

    ON TURNING 70

  • Details about Obama’s openly gay military

    WASHINGTON (SR) — Barack Obama, the first openly-gay resident of the United States, has directed the Pentagon to replace the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy with one that will allow openly gay men and women to serve in the military.

  • The awful truth about beer

    Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.