Department 21

Ikea billboard
Las Vegas billboard
“It’s only a gambling problem if you’re losing.”
Government health warning
Don’t swallow your chewing gum.
Comparing medical prowess
A small group of doctors from around the world is comparing notes at a medical convention.

An Israeli doctor says, “Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.”
Cubic Zirconia billboard
“Two months’ salary, my ass.”
Budweiser billboard
“Say no to drugs. That way, you’ll have more time to drink.”
Hooked on Phonics billboard
Corona billboard
“Tired of spilling beer while you drive?”
Don’t Drink and Drive billboard
“Don’t drink and drive. You’ll only spill it.”
Saskatoon Restaurant billboard
“There’s plenty of room for all God’s creatures. Right next to the mashed potatoes.”
U.S. Army billboard
“We’re proud of our privates.”
Warning billboard
“Beware of low flying aircraft”
The World’s Shortest Books
THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE, by Barack Obama
Sushi billboard
“Sushi. Still your best bet for intestinal worms.”
Advertising billboard
“Guys, admit it. You’re gonna buy anything we advertise here.”
Good question billboard
“If drinking and driving is illegal, then why do bars have parking lots?”
St. Pauli Girl billboard
“Like her mugs? You should see her cans.”
Daisy Air Rifle billboard
“Daisy Air Rifles: Keeping kids off your lawn since 1886!”
Marijuana billboard
“Dude, we totally forgot our slogan.”
Finding inner peace
By following simple advice heard on the Oprah show, you too can find inner peace. Dr. Oz proclaimed, “The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished.”

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn’t finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Tequila, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how good I feel right now.