• Shouldn’t have asked

    A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede his position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, “Relatives of yours?”

    “Yep,” the husband replied, “In-laws.”

  • School 1958 vs. School 2008

    Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

    1958 – Vice principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car, and gets his own shotgun to show Jack.

  • Who is the better friend?

    This will dispel all rumors …

    If you don’t believe it, just try this experiment:

  • A good pun is it’s own re-word

    • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

  • Overcoming black magic

    An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The neighbors feared the man the most. He was constantly heard stating, “When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!”

  • Male friendships are better

    Friendship between women: A woman doesn’t go home one night. The next morning she tells her husband that she slept over at a friend’s house. The man calls his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it.

  • Did he forget or just not give a darn?

    Rick forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was really angry.

  • The best cookie recipe

    1 cup of water

  • You can’t take it with you

    A old man could feel he was going to die soon and, although he had been financially successful beyond his wildest dreams, he hated everyone, including others of his own family.

  • A fantasy fulfilled

    A cab driver picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring and he replies, “I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.”

  • Don’t try to test God

    A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

  • Cowboys and Muslims

    Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge in Bozeman, Montana, awaiting their flights.

  • And don’t ever scorn her

    The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

  • The Idiot Report

    The following are from a January 5 column by John Krueger, Editor of the Light and Champion newspaper in Center, Texas.

  • It’s the thought that counts

    The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city’s most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, “Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don’t give a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?”

  • The balloonist

    A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

  • Plan of action

    If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee — that will do them in.

  • Guess Who I Am?

    • I was born in one country, raised in another. My father was born in another country. I was not his only child. He fathered several children with numerous women.

  • Da soop kichen

    Recently Michelle Obama went to serve food to the homeless at a government funded soup kitchen.

  • Comparing our deities

    Q: What do Barack Obama and God have in common?