• $50 for the homeless

    I recently asked my friend’s little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be president some day.

  • Teaching math through the years

    Teaching Math In 1950s: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

  • It advertises to pay

    “County to pay $250,000 to advertise lack of funds”

  • Another vital government study

    “Fish need water, feds say”

  • Unfortunately, the truth is much worse

    One sunny morning, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he had been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton.”

  • That’s not what I said!

    “Wait a minute, now. I didn’t authorize ATTACKS on the pirates, I authorized A TAX on the pirates.”

  • Definition: Obamanation

    Obamanation (noun; adj.) Oh-bomb-a-na-tion : A COLLECTION OF catastrophic POLICY BLUNDERS, ADMINISTERED BY grossly UNQUALIFIED, ETHICLY CHALLENGED, LIBERAL IDEALOGUES, HELL BENT ON DESTROYING: FREE ENTERPRISE; SMALL BUSINESSES; FREE SPEECH; GUN OWNERSHIP; right to life; National defense; personal wealth; Judeo-Christian ideals … and anything else the hicks in “Fly-over land” cling to, for a start in the first year of “his coming.”

  • The Plan

    1. Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men.
    2. Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women.
    3. Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies.
    4. In three generations, there will be no Democrats.

  • The opposite of progress

    If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!

  • New gun just for Democrats

    “Smith&Wesson 180°

  • Failing economics

    An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before but had once failed an entire class.

  • Judging a chili cook-off

    Recently, I was visiting Texas, and heard about a chili cook-off at the San Antonio City Park, which was nearby where I was staying. I happened to be standing at the judge’s table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when one of the original judges called in sick at the last moment. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3. This was my first experience judging a chili cook-off.

  • Jesus and the Democrat

    A Republican in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee.

  • What have we done?

  • Welfare Office

    A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

  • Observations on America

    A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.

  • Maybe they’re not really her friends

    “Theft: A woman in the 1900 block of 129th Lane Northeast reported Oct. 15 that someone must have stolen her mail, because she did not receive birthday cards from some of her friends.”

  • Efficacious camouflage

    “Army vehicle disappears

  • Teen pregnancy

    “Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25.”

  • What can be done with make-up

    What can be done with make-up