• One good nap deserves another

    An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.

  • U.S. Tax system explained in terms of beer, to make it more manageable

    Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid the bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

  • Ask Carnac the Magnificent

    A: Midrash

  • Great expectations

    What I Want In A Man, Original List … (at age 22)

  • Why computers sometimes crash

    If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
    and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort,
    and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
    then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

  • Leaks in the gene pool

    A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, “How many children do you have?”

  • Be careful setting your goals

    There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

  • Don’t ask, don’t tell

    Little Lucy was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating.

  • Find out about the co-pay first

    A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.

  • Great news?

    A woman gets home, screeches her car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs: “Honey, pack your bags! I won the lottery!”

  • Coming soon to a garage near you

  • Merry Christmas?

    Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all …

  • The night before Christmas, legally speaking

    Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter “the House”) a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.

  • Christmas riddle

    Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer, and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?

  • Let’s solve everyone’s problems at once

    Everyone concentrates on the problems we’re having in this country currently: Illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, and alligators attacking people in Florida.

  • Do your stuff, dog

    Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first Man was an Engineer, the second was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Worker.

  • He kissed a frog

    A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, Ribbit 9 Iron.”

  • Cost-cutting measures

    DUE TO THE CURRENT FINANCIAL STATUS OF THE COMPANY. ALL EMPLOYEES ARE ENCOURAGED TO ADOPT THE FOLLOWING COST CUTTING MEASURES.

  • Praise the Lord

    An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout, “PRAISE THE LORD!”

  • All about women

    Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?