Welcome to the neighborhood
How to score: 0 if the statement is never true, 1 if it is rarely true, 2 if it is sometimes true, and 3 if it is always true.
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___ Conversations often begin with “Put the gun down, and then we can talk”.
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___ The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
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___ The cat is on Valium.
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___ People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
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___ You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaf.
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___ The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
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___ No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
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___ “Family meetings” are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
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___ You have to check your kid’s day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.
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___ No-Doze gives you bulk rates.
How you rate: 30 — a perfect score. Welcome to the neighborhood!
20-29 — You are doing reasonably well, but still have too little going on in your life. Crank it up.
10-19 — You have mastered some of the aspects of the stress-filled life, but still have a long way to go. Have you considered a parallel career path?
0-9 — Enjoying all that extra time? What do you do anyway?