1. The wheel is spinning, but the hamster is dead.
  2. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn’t watching.
  3. It’s hard to believe that he beat 100,000 other sperm.
  4. A few clowns short of a circus.
  5. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
  6. A few beers short of a six-pack.
  7. Doesn’t have all his Cornflakes in one box.
  8. The cheese slid off his cracker.
  9. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
  10. Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
  11. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
  12. Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
  13. He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
  14. One taco short of a combination plate.
  15. All foam, no beer.
  16. As smart as bait.
  17. Chimney’s clogged.
  18. Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.
  19. Forgot to pay his brain bill.
  20. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
  21. Receiver is off the hook.
  22. Skylight leaks a little.
  23. Slinky’s kinked.
  24. Surfing in Nebraska.
  25. Too much yardage between the goalposts.
  26. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
  27. Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
  28. A room temperature IQ.
  29. Bright as Alaska in December.
  30. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.
  31. If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.
  32. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
  33. It takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes.
  34. His belt doesn’t go through all the loops.
  35. If he had another brain it would be lonely.