Hey! Get back indoors. Whatever you were doing Could put an eye out.

A lovely nose ring — excuse me while I put my head in the oven.

Hidden connection — starvation in Africa, food left on my plate.

How soft the petals of the floral arrangement I have just stolen.

My nature journal — today, I saw some trees and birds. I should know the names?

Add cholesterol then overcook and serve with bread: recipe revealed.

Like a bonsai tree, your terrible posture at my dinner table.

Coroner’s report — “The deceased, wearing no hat, caught his death of cold.”

Lonely mantra of the Buddhist monk: “They never call, they never write.”

The sparkling blue sea beckons me to wait one hour after my sandwich.

Concert of car horns as we debate the question of when to change lanes.

Is one Nobel Prize too much to ask from a child after all I’ve done?

Sorry I’m not home to take your call. At the tone please state your bad news.