10. Loaves and Fishes replaced by pizza and beer.

9. Ten Commandments are actually only five, but because they are double-spaced and written in a large font, they look like ten.

8. Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn’t dorm food.

7. Paul’s Letters to the Romans become Paul’s E-Mail to the Romans.

6. Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.

5. The place where the end of the world occurs, not the Plains of Armageddon, rather Finals.

4. Book of Armaments would be in there somewhere.

3. Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn’t want to ask directions and look like a Freshman.

2. Tower of Babel blamed for Foreign Language requirement.

1. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter and hoped no one noticed.