If you cross the North Korean border illegally you get 12 years hard labor.

If you cross the Iranian border illegally you are detained indefinitely.

If you cross the Afghan border illegally, you get shot.

If you cross the Saudi Arabian border illegally you will be jailed.

If you cross the Chinese border illegally you may never be heard from again.

If you cross the Venezuelan border illegally you will be branded a spy and your fate will be sealed.

If you cross the Cuban border illegally you will be thrown into political prison to rot.

If you cross the Mexican border illegally from the south the police will rob you blind and try to prevent you from going farther north.

If you cross the U.S. border illegally you get:

  • a job

  • a drivers license

  • social security card

  • welfare

  • food stamps

  • credit cards

  • subsidized rent or a loan to buy a house

  • free education

  • free health care

  • a lobbyist in washington

  • promise of amnesty

  • and, in many instances, you can vote