Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

On a Septic Tank Truck: “Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels”

On a Plumber’s truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.”

On another Plumber’s truck: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

On a Church’s Bill board: “7 days without God makes one weak.”

At a Tire Store: “Invite us to your next blowout.”

On an Electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”

In a Non-smoking Area: “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”

On a Maternity Room door: “Push, Push, Push.”

At an Optometrist’s Office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

On a Taxidermist’s window: “We really know our stuff.”

On a Fence: “Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!”

At a Car Dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet — miss a car payment.”

Outside a Car Exhaust Store: “No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

In a Vets waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

In a Restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”

Sign at a Radiator Shop: “Best place in town to take a leak.”

Sign on the back of yet another Septic Tank Truck: “Caution: This Truck is full of Political Promises.”