What’s yellow and swings from tree to tree? Tarzipan.

Adam and Eve, the first people not to read the Apple Terms and Conditions.

Tiddles won “Finest Feline Rear” at the local show. Sadly I dropped the glass vase she won. It was a cat-ass-trophy.

A guy in the pub just showed me his Bucket List. I wasn’t impressed. He’s stock manager at Home Depot.

I saw a young boy staring at a carton of orange juice today. I asked, “What are you doing?”

He replied, “It says ‘concentrate’.”