Warmer times are seeing a drastic revival of winter sports as the Northern Hemisphere adjusts to new the Mediterranean Climate. Scientists say that being able to ski through groves of date-nut and olive trees will be the new normal for the foreseeable future and they urge ski operators to protect lift riders from falling coconuts.

It is a classic feedback loop, where more skiers travelling to ski resorts means more CO2 emissions, a warmer climate with more frigid temperatures, and more snow fall. In response to the global-warming-induced cooling, Biden Administration officials vow to put a tax on carbon to reverse the cycle. Joe Biden says it is simple: “When the price of fossil fuels rises high enough, these cooling trends will stop and the planet will no longer be in danger of overheating. You don’t need more than a sixth grade education to understand this.”

Meanwhile, administration officials urge supporters not to think critically about any of this and allow scientists to do their jobs. The best thing people can do is go inside and stay warm until the administration’s policies kick-in and the warming crisis abates.