• It goes from 22 hours of happy-go-lucky, kittenish sleep per day to 21 hours of restless, fitful sleep per day.

  • All he wants to do is watch “Catlock.”

  • Tries to cash in her eighth life insurance policy for a kilo of catnip.

  • Whines non-stop about the “bankrupt moral values of kittens these days.”

  • Trades in his Whiskas for prune-flavored Whippasnappas.

  • “You call this catnip? Hell, I remember back in the ’90s, I once scored some Meowie Wowie that would knock your claws off…”

  • Instead of shredding your drapes, she sub-contracts the job.

  • Writes “Put me to sleep” in its litter box with pee.

  • When you strap a piece of buttered toast to her back and drop her, she lands on her hip.

  • Stops leaving dead mice on doormats; starts leaving bingo cards.

  • Spends all day on the front porch, yelling at the squirrels to get the hell out of his yard.

  • Occasionally forgets to ignore you.

  • Instead of swaggering up to you and dropping dead mice at your feet, he drives up in his Rascal and pulls them out of the saddlebag.

  • Has to drink a whole bottle of Rogaine just to cough up one hairball.

  • While his younger friends are out chasing mice, he claims a moral victory in catching the elusive dust bunny.