In an earlier time Switzerland was flat. Flat and featureless from border to border.

Oh! how the Swiss longed for mountains, valleys, hills, lakes, and rivers, anything to break the geographic monotony.

One day God appeared in a Zurich outdoor cafe where the nation’s elite were having schnapps.

“Elites,” he said, “I have heard the pleas of the good people of Switzerland for a full-featured landscape. I am here to give you what you long for.”

He instantly disappeared and in the distance there arose a majestic mountain. Soon came another, then another. Over the next four days magnificent mountains large and larger popped up all over Switzerland.

When the landscape reached the full verticality we know today, God turned to making lakes and rivers to reflect the beauty of the mountains, and also to provide opportunities for ferries and water taxis.

Beginning in sight of the Zurich cafe and spreading out to every corner of the Swiss countryside, there appeared the world’s finest collection of rippling lakes, restful rivers, and babbling brooks and rills.

When his 6-day odyssey was finished and geographic perfection attained, God returned to the Zurich cafe at schnapps time for a last chat with the country’s delighted leaders.

They were overflowing with gratitude for the sheer magnificence their country had become, and were nearly awed by the presence before them.

“Thank you for this most wonderful gift,” the elite of elites spokesman said, in the local dialect of his regional Switzerdeutsch. “Can we do anything for you in return?”

“Well not really,” God replied, “though I would like a taste of that schnapps you all seem to like so much.”

A waiter was summoned, schnapps was brought, and God sipped first, then tossed it down.

“My, that is good,” opined God.

“And a bargain,” said the lead elite. “Look at the bill. They only charged you 30 francs plus tax and tip.”