Walls work

Please press 1

Why do I have to press one for English when they are just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?

100 mph goat

Two guys out hunting came upon a huge hole in the ground. They approached it and were amazed at its size.

All yours

A highway patrolman spotted a car exceeding the speed limit on a rural highway, so he hit the lights and siren and attempted to pull it over.

When you lie on your résumé and get the job anyway

Puns for today

It’s a sign

From the Indian Hills Community Center

Some memes for today

Chef Gordon Ramsay’s crispy pancake recipe

Welcome to California

Power of proofreading

Signs

Trump’s tax returns

“Where are President Trump’s tax returns?”

Estate planning

Tom was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

Reverse bucket list

Things you don’t need to do before you die.

Attorney years

A lawyer died and went to his time of reckoning.

The Sixties vs. now

In the 60s, people took LSD to make the world look weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it look normal.

Self-sufficiency

Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and he won’t bother you for weeks or months … maybe years.

Memes for today

Today’s lesson on irony …

Once in a while we just have to stand back in awe of government.

How to become Super Cool

Dude is too Super Cool for his Traffic Ticket