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When you’re dead
When you are dead, you don’t know you are dead. It is difficult only for others.
It is the same when you are stupid.
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The world’s greatest salesman
Dad: “I want you to marry the girl of my choice.”
Son: “No.”
Dad: “The girl I have in mind is the daughter of Bill Gates.”
Son: “OK!”Dad goes to see Bill Gates.
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Where to retire
You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where …
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About that apology …
“I would just like to say this to the President in the nicest terms I can: Mr. President, if you liked your apology you can keep it.” — Dennis Miller
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Praying for Obama
Dear Lord,
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Four Mexicans in a rowboat
A U.S. Coast Guard cruiser stops four Mexicans rowing towards Texas.
The Captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts, “Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?”
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Biting off more than you can chew
A guy who lives at Grand Lake Saint Marys (60 miles north of Dayton, Ohio) saw what looked to be a ball bouncing around strangely in the lake and went to investigate.
It turned out to be a flathead catfish that had apparently tried to swallow a basketball that became stuck in its mouth!
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In photography, timing is everything
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Do you drink beer?
Woman: Do you drink beer?
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From the new Form 1040 on-line
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Sometimes speed doesn’t have to kill … it’s bad enough on its own
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Snow White, Superman, and Pinocchio
Snow White, Superman, and Pinocchio are walking in the street when they come across a sign: “Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world.”
“I am entering,” said Snow White. After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, “Well, how was it?”
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Woman stops grizzly attack with .25 caliber pistol
This is a story of self control and marksmanship with an itsy bitsy shooter, by a woman, against a fierce predator.
What is the smallest caliber you trust to protect yourself? The Beretta Jetfire:
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Travel ideas
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The split second before
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Here’s your dose of irony for today
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How to spot a fake ID
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Thanks, but I’d rather just use my tongue
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So, that’s what they mean by ‘gas ‘n’ go’
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How speed-walking was invented
