• Finally at peace

    Now OJ can rest knowing that his wife’s killer is dead.

  • The meaning of Easter

    A Sunday School teacher asked her class of young children a very simple question, or so she thought. She asked, “What is Easter?”

  • Better for the planet

    This van is electric and better for the planet

  • Super Bowl

    My idea of a Super Bowl is a toilet that cleans itself.

  • Mount Rushmore

    I present you Mount Rushmore before it was carved. This picture is unpresidented.

  • Modern times

    You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

  • Oriental wisdom

    That’s not right.

    Sum Ting Wong

  • Government still goes bankrupt

    “The government needs to take care of everything!””

  • Great moments in history

    3050 B.C. — A Sumerian invents the wheel. Within the week, the idea is stolen and duplicated by other Sumerians, thereby establishing the business ethic for all times.

  • Elevator humor

    Things to do in an elevator:

  • Grand wizard

    The southern preacher rose with a red face. “Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the KKK This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family.”

  • Calendar conversions

    It’s year 5784 according to Jewish calendar.

  • With age comes wisdom

    The older I get, the more I understand why roosters scream to start their day.

  • Facebook popularity

    Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the “cool table” in the cafeteria of a mental hospital.

  • Airplane mode

    The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, “Surely, it’s not going to rain today?”

  • Upstairs and downstairs

    You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs ibuprofen” and “downstairs ibuprofen.”

  • The tortoise and the hare

    How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life, when the rabbit is always jumping but only lives for around two years, and the turtle that doesn’t exercise at all lives over 200 years.

  • Click on the motorcycle

    The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren’t a robot.

  • Vegetables

    If only vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

  • I want mommy

    When a kid says “Daddy, I want mommy,” that’s the kid version of “I’d like to speak to your supervisor.”