What causes arthritis?

A disheveled man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway car next to a priest.

The beauty of love

An old man lay dying in his bed when lo and behold, he smelled the aroma of his favorite food — chocolate chip cookies — wafting up the stairs.

General Public Notice

Please be advised I am sick to death of receiving questions about my dog who mauled:

Don’t underestimate old guys

The Wyoming banker saw his old friend Tom, an 80-year-old rancher, in town. Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a “mail order” bride.

Channel surfing

My wife and I were at home watching TV. I had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel.

A little-known tidbit of naval history

The U.S.S. Constitution (Old Ironsides), as a combat vessel, carried 48,600 gallons of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men. This was sufficient to last six months of sustained operations at sea. She carried no evaporators (i.e. fresh water distillers).

A contemporary romance story

He grasped me firmly but gently just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone.

Now that’s what you call drunk driving

This Dodge truck belongs to a hard-core drinker.

Best pool shot ever by a naked white chick

Ban fox hunting

We in no way support any type of gun control, but after seeing this we are — unfortunately — believe that something needs to change.

Cyclists must obey all road signs

Am I lucky, or what?

I’ve won a Kenyan Lottery, according to an e-mail I just received from a Nigerian prince! He has 5 MILLION DOLLARS, and he wants to send it to me FREE! All I have to do is give him all my BANK ACCOUNT NUMBERS so he can transfer the money!

The U.S. Air Force: Solving problems since 1947

Air Force General: “Mr. President, we’ve just invented an invisibility cloak for Air Force One.”

Seen on the streets of Bismarck, ND

Gracie Allen’s Classic Roast Beef Recipe

1 large roast of beef

Creative homeless signs

High school graduation in Detroit

A student played high school football in Detroit. He was a great running back, but a really poor student.

Next time, write it down

An elderly couple returns home from meeting with a doctor about their increasingly frequent bouts of forgetfulness. The doctor recommended that they write down as much as they can to help them remember what they’ve done, and what they need or want to do.

Getting to heaven

A Sunday School teacher was testing children in her Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.

Punography

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

When chemists die they barium.