• Judging a chili cook-off

    Recently, I was visiting Texas, and heard about a chili cook-off at the San Antonio City Park, which was nearby where I was staying. I happened to be standing at the judge’s table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when one of the original judges called in sick at the last moment. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3. This was my first experience judging a chili cook-off.

  • Jesus and the Democrat

    A Republican in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee.

  • What have we done?

  • Welfare Office

    A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

  • Observations on America

    A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.

  • Maybe they’re not really her friends

    “Theft: A woman in the 1900 block of 129th Lane Northeast reported Oct. 15 that someone must have stolen her mail, because she did not receive birthday cards from some of her friends.”

  • Efficacious camouflage

    “Army vehicle disappears

  • Teen pregnancy

    “Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25.”

  • What can be done with make-up

    What can be done with make-up

  • A man walks into a bar …

    A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and asked, “Sir, what will you have?”

  • Ten thoughts

    Here are 10 thoughts that may make you think — and smile!

  • How many in a Brazilian?

    The Department of Defense briefed Resident Obama this morning telling him that two Brazilian soldiers had been killed in Afganistan. To everyone’s surprise all the color drained from his face. Then he collapsed onto his desk, head in his hands, visibly shaken, almost in tears.

  • Insider trading information

    If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today.

  • Will I live to see 80?

    I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing “fairly well” for my age. (I just turned 49.)

  • That’s gratitude

    One-armed man applauds

  • What constitutes a millionaire?

    What constitutes a millionaire?

  • Your choice

    Discount choice

  • How did this happen?

    How did this happen?

  • How did he know?

    Hello, is this Rabbi Schwartz?”

  • No good deed goes unpunished

    A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.