• Mississippi humor

    The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, “Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!” Bubba replied, “Did you see who it was?”

  • Louisiana humor

    A senior at Louisiana was overheard saying … “When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana.” When asked why, he replied, “I’d rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.”

  • Georgia humor

    The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, “You graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?”

  • Alabama humor

    A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. “Where’s Henry?” the others asked.

  • An Army of 60+

    New Directive for any war: Send service Vets over 60! I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military. They’ve got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until you’re at least 35.

  • Help me move to Mexico

    Dear Resident Obama:

  • How a man can make a woman happy

    It’s not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

  • To the 535 voting members of the federal legislature

    It is now official: You are all morons.

  • To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine, and those who don’t

    As Ben Franklin said:

  • The sweetness of married Life

    The newlyweds were only married two weeks, when the husband said to the wife, “Honey I’m going to Hank’s Tavern to have a beer, I’ll be right back.”

  • An Italian boy’s confession

    “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.”

  • Truth in labeling

    Vote for Obamacare to solve all of your medical problems!*

  • Obamacare end-of-life counselling device unveiled

    This is a tobacco smoke enema kit, used from the 1750s to the 1810s to infuse tobacco smoke into a patient’s rectum for various medical purposes. Doubts about the efficacy of tobacco enemas lead to the popular phrase, “blow smoke up one’s ass.”

  • Welcome to Obamacare

    The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, “Hello?”

  • Let me get this straight

    Obama’s health care plan will:

  • They don’t hate us for our freedom

    A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state.

  • Why, Why, Why

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead?

  • Haunting questions

    If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

  • Putting the ‘personal’ in ‘personal ad’

    This ad was posted to Craig’s List Personals:

  • Very smooth

    I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart.

    The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.