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Ten jokes for today
Policeman saw a woman knitting while driving the other day.
“Pull over!” he shouted.
“No, it’s a scarf!” she replied. -
Six jokes for today
I’ve just started work as a human chess piece. I’m on knights next week.
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Seven jokes for today
Just seen a very confusing book: “Ventriloquism for Dummies.”
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My mommy, the exotic dancer
One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their mothers did for a living.
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Five jokes for today
If you buy sub-standard parts for your submarine, is that a good thing?
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Important facts to remember as you grow older
- Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
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Five jokes for today
What’s yellow and swings from tree to tree? Tarzipan.
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Five jokes for today
I’ve been reading the stats on the most common way drunks walk. It’s staggering.
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Five jokes for today
Hear about poor art thieves who bungled their getaway? They had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
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Five jokes for today
Why does Belgium get bigger every Christmas? Because Brussels Sprouts.
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Five jokes for today
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side.
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The post turtle
While doing an annual physical checkup of a 75 year old rancher, the doctor struck up a conversation with his patient. Eventually the topic got around to Obama’s job as president.
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Yeah, we can tell
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My neighbors aren’t real happy about this, but I’m saving a bundle …
I’ve disconnected my home alarm system and de-registered from Neighborhood Watch.
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How did that happen?
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The secret’s out
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The urbanite and the chain saw
An urbanite is looking to get away from it all, so he buys a remote piece of property that has no utilities, although it does have a small cabin with a wood stove. To get wood for the stove, he decides to cut down some of the trees on his property. So, he goes to a hardware store and picks out a hand saw.
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Worst parents of the year
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What causes arthritis?
A disheveled man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway car next to a priest.
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The beauty of love
An old man lay dying in his bed when lo and behold, he smelled the aroma of his favorite food — chocolate chip cookies — wafting up the stairs.