• Beautiful Switzerland

    In an earlier time Switzerland was flat. Flat and featureless from border to border.

  • The prisoner

    A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs.

  • Lost hunting skills

    I am so glad that I don’t have to actually hunt for my food. I have no clue where gluten free tacos live.

  • Bass lessons

    One day, a kid says “Daddy, daddy, I want to learn to play the bass.” So dad hooks him up with lessons.

  • Airplane facts

    1. Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.

  • He got his wish

    A couple had been married for 25 years and also celebrated their 60th birthdays. During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each.

  • Name, please?

    Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami. They had been meeting in that park every sunny day for over 12 years, chatting and enjoying each others’ friendship.

  • I am not on drugs

    A bear walked into a bar in Billings, Montana and sat down. He banged on the bar with his paw demanding a beer. The bartender approached saying, “We don’t serve beer to bears in bars in Billings.”

  • Bread in captivity

    I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.

  • You know your cat is getting old when …

    • It goes from 22 hours of happy-go-lucky, kittenish sleep per day to 21 hours of restless, fitful sleep per day.

  • That darned English language

    1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

  • How to deal with telemarketers

    1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

  • Eve and Adam

    One day, in the Garden of Eden, Eve called out to God, “Lord, I have a problem!”

  • Clean entertainment

    Sally decided to do something wild that she hadn’t done before, so she set out to rent her first X-rated adult video.

  • Empty handed

    Moishe and Shmuel had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives.

  • Breakfast jokes

    I think it’s funny that they’re now putting jokes on the back of bacon packages. Listen to this one: “Serving Size: 2 Slices”

  • The 2025 Ford Lump

    Here at Ford we live by one rule: Freedom.

  • Who are you and what are you doing here?

    Who are you and what are you doing here before Thanksgiving?

  • The world’s first brain transplant

    A man is lying in the hospital waiting to be the first person in history to receive a brain transplant.

  • Exclusive, official, 100% real: Gavin Newsom endorsing Cameluh Harris

    Hi, I’m Gavin Newsom, the governor of California.